sprite writes
broodings from the burrow

April 19, 2006

feeling up
posted by soe 11:23 am

I have been feeling down of late. This is nothing new, as I have gone through periodic bouts of depression for as long as I can remember. Usually it’s caused by the need to make some changes in my life that I’m resistant to making or don’t know how to go about putting into action.

The advantage of being an adult is that when I was a teenager, when I hit a depression, I thought it would last forever. Now I know that although I don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, it is, in fact, there and I just have to wait it out. Waiting is not easy, nor is it comfortable. But I can do it and knowing things will seem better eventually makes it bearable.

The waiting seems to have paid off because while I was asleep last night something seems to have shifted in my brain. I woke up this morning feeling … alive. I still haven’t resolved the things in my life that I need to alter. But I know that I will figure them out and that now I can push those thoughts to the side and focus on other things (like cleaning up the Burrow or spending more time outside (and, yes, I do know those are two contradictory things I need to accomplish)) for a while. Sometimes you can only find clarity by not looking at things too intensely.

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