sprite writes
broodings from the burrow

March 17, 2010

… and miles to go before i sleep
posted by soe 11:13 pm

A blog is an interesting thing because it’s journal-like, but without the privacy and with input back in the form of comments. It starts out in the beginning as something for yourself, because no one knows you’re writing in a public place. But like many things, once you know you’re being watched (or read), you find that you adapt to it and (too often) write posts that you think your audience might like. Or you start to worry about the overlap between the personal and the private and end up not sharing important things for fear of revealing too much of yourself.

I’ll be honest: When that happens, it dilutes what you have to say.

Back in the fall, I went through a blogging crisis of faith. I simultaneously had nothing to say and too much to say. Those closest to me in real life will find that painfully familiar, as the same thing seems to have happened in my offline world. I was talking (or writing) a lot but not saying much. And suddenly it just seemed like too much and too little all at once.

Did I even want to keep writing? Did I actually have anything to say? Did I want to maintain an online presence if it was detracting from my offline relationships? What exactly was the point of this blog? And whom was I writing it for?

While I mulled over these questions in October, the blog, with the exception of weekly Three Beautiful Things posts, went dark. I just didn’t bother to write.

And at the end of the month, I realized I missed it. This is pretty much the only writing I do these days (whether that’s as it should be or not is a topic for another post on another day) and not doing it made me feel less than, like I was somehow cheating myself out of something important. And so I began anew.

Yes, writing is sometimes hard. And, no, more often than I’d like to admit I don’t have anything of import to say. And periodically it’s not obvious whether I’m writing a post for you or for me. But the satisfaction of a well-turned phrase or of saying something that matters (whether anyone but me recognizes it or not) can’t be beat. And I have to keep writing so I don’t lose what’s important to me.

However, although I have to keep writing, you don’t have to keep reading. Your lives are all busy, and you’ve got enough stuff to do without adding my blog to your list. So it really does mean a lot that you follow along with my random posts. And some of you even take the time to leave me comments. I don’t stop often enough to acknowledge how I appreciate your sharing little bits of yourselves with me in those notes, but I can say that they nearly always make my day so much brighter when you leave them.

So on this, the fifth anniversary of Sprite Writes, thank you, dear readers. I’m not sure which direction the road leads from here, but be sure I’ll be sending postcards and taking notes along the way. Here’s to the journey…

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