Don’t you think the heavens would have moved on technologically with the rest of us by now?

I mean, maybe it’s a bit of a push to expect that they had reached the podcast or blog state. But, on the other hand, we might reasonably expect that they had acquired email. I mean, Gramma has sent emails before. And Aunt Maude sends them quite regularly.

Okay, okay. You’re right. The heavens are substantially than either of them. But how about a phone call? Or, even, a telegram? I could even put up with the singing kind, although I’d prefer that they keep their clothes on.

I’d even settle for a letter.

That’s it. The heavens could send a nice letter.

Dear soe,

You have acquired too much clutter in your life.

Please reduce it. It’s really better for your mental state over the long run.

Thanks for your quick attention to this matter.

Sincerely,

The heavens

I mean, if you received that kind of letter, don’t you think you’d pay attention to it?

I would — particularly if it came first class. A nice letter. Even a postcard would do.

But, no. The heavens don’t seem to believe in correspondence. Too New Testament for them…

Instead they seem to believe we need an Old Testament kind of message.

And since it’s a bit out of season for pestilence, and we’re too far from the ocean for a whale, they seem to be intent upon sending me a flood.

I’d like to protest: I got the message on Wednesday, heavens. Really. A little bit of water and mildew and I understood what you wanted me to do.

I think this morning was overkill. It really wasn’t necessary to flood my parents’ basement. They had already asked us to get rid of some of our stuff that remains there. We were going to do it at Thanksgiving. And, in the meantime, we were going to work on things here.

But, honestly, thanks for the message. I’ve got it now — loud and clear. Just, please, next time consider a comment here on the blog…