sprite writes
broodings from the burrow

January 28, 2009

35 worse ways to spend your birthday…
posted by soe 11:55 pm

So… I got word today that I will be necessary to the infrastructure of our organization’s annual meeting — which falls over the weekend of my 35th birthday. (It’s also the weekend of Valentine’s Day. Leave it to scientists to expect people to leave their loved ones on the most romantic holiday of the year…)

I admit I’m disappointed; I was hoping that this year I’d be able to have my birthday to myself — at home with my friends. But part of the whole thing about expecting the best to happen is that sometimes you’re dropped on your head. Oh well…

So, I thought I’d remind myself that spending my birthday with 300 or so elementary school kids playing (educational) video games is not nearly as bad as it could be. Here are 35 far worse ways to spend your birthday:

  1. Having a loved one have to go to the hospital. (I’ve lived through this. My (now-dead) grandmother had a heart attack on my tenth birthday.)
  2. Having a loved one die. (One of my grandfathers died on my brother’s birthday.)
  3. Suffering a heart attack.
  4. In surgery.
  5. In Gitmo.
  6. Aboard a sinking ship.
  7. Being attacked by a shark.
  8. Working as a sales clerk on the day after Thanksgiving or Christmas.
  9. Involved in a high-speed car chase.
  10. Being held up.
  11. Witnessing a car crash.
  12. Working in a morgue.
  13. In a room full of social conservatives.
  14. Serving a life sentence for a crime you didn’t commit.
  15. On a plane that crash lands in the river.
  16. Caught on the Pennsylvania Turnpike in a blizzard.
  17. Losing your home.
  18. Having to put a pet to sleep.
  19. Stuck in a movie theater watching distressing movies.
  20. Being groped.
  21. Stuck in the Third Street Tunnel.
  22. In need of a bathroom without one in sight.
  23. Being forced to eat watermelon.
  24. At a book burning.
  25. Trapped in quicksand (particularly after battling ROUSes).
  26. Falling asleep on the nest of biting ants.
  27. At a slaughterhouse.
  28. In the path of a tornado.
  29. At a Ku Klux Klan rally.
  30. Caught in a fire.
  31. Suffering from kidney stones.
  32. Birthing a baby.
  33. Being indicted on corruption charges.
  34. At an all-day elementary school band concert.
  35. Being shot at by a sniper.

Feel free to add to my list…

(I would be remiss if I didn’t thank my boss (hi Suzanne!) who tried hard to give me a nice birthday present.)

Category: life -- uncategorized. There is/are 11 Comments.

Whew! Hope that got it all out. Will we have 35 good ways to spend a birthday?

Comment by DOD 01.29.09 @ 8:33 am

falling down stairs
working as a prison guard
getting mugged
finding out you have cancer of the vagina and it will need to be removed immediately
getting a 24 hour stomach bug
getting two lines on a pregnancy test
losing your job

I’m just full of sunshine and rainbows this morning!

Comment by Sidney 01.29.09 @ 9:57 am

As the annual meeting has landed on Valentine’s Day more often than not, I always thought it spoke volumes of the love life of many scientists!!!!!!

Comment by Mum 01.29.09 @ 12:26 pm

DOD, at the very least we will have 35 reasons to enjoy your birthday. I may contemplate a list of good ways to spend your birthday, as well.

Sidney, those all would be worse ways to spend my birthday. Here’s hoping none of them come to pass — for either of us!

Mum, it’s true…

Comment by soe 01.29.09 @ 1:25 pm

I think you listed all the major ones (and I’m pretty good at this game). Vacationing in the tropics when a tsunami comes??

I think your mum is right to focus on the happy things, though. 🙂

Comment by Debby 01.29.09 @ 2:18 pm

Debby, that’s a good one as well. I needed to vent in order to get to the positive. Sometimes it just takes a change in perspective.

Comment by soe 01.29.09 @ 4:03 pm

Being groped by a sale clerk who’s being attacked by a shark? 😉

I’m sorry that this is falling on your b-day 🙁 I think you should demand cake, anyway!

Comment by jenn 01.29.09 @ 7:04 pm

Well, Rudi is being sweet and flying out to spend the weekend in Chicago with me. I believe we’ll have the evening free and will be able to celebrate then — and definitely there will be cake!

Comment by soe 01.30.09 @ 12:01 am

Those are pretty bad ways to spend your birthday!!

Comment by Sarah 02.02.09 @ 11:52 am

Sarah, it’s true! I’m hoping that none of those things will be added to my birthday!

Comment by soe 02.02.09 @ 3:09 pm

I think we need a list of 35 nice things to do on your birthday despite work rearing its ugly head.

1) Pet a kitty cat
2) Drink a cup of tea
3) Find 10 minutes to relax with knitting
4) Be wished “Happy Birthday” by some complete stranger
5) Listen to a child laugh
6) See if you can make someone smile just by smiling at them first
7) Color something with crayons
8) Kiss your sweetheart when no one is looking but everyone could see you if they were
9) Tie a helium balloon to your wrist
10) Eat some chocolate
11) Talk to a friend on the phone
12) Tell someone “I love you”
13) Notice three or more beautiful things
14) Perform a strange floor-related ritual, such as not stepping on cracks, or only walking on the dark tiles
15) Look up at the sky
16) Smell a rose
17) Read a little bit in a book
18) Have something delicious for dinner
19) Listen to your favorite song on your ipod
20) Draw something in the snow (or dirt)
21) Have someone play with your hair
22) Dance, even without music
23) Hug someone
24) Read the comics
25) Try to collect all the letters of the alphabet from the names of the people around you that day
26) Wave to birds, squirrels, or other wildlife
27) Wear awesome socks
28) Eat some cake
29) Eat some ice cream
30) Sing
31) Blow bubbles
32) Write a poem
33) Stomp in a puddle, or jump in a large pile of snow
34) Take a picture
35) Watch for unicorns

Comment by Grey Kitten 02.04.09 @ 4:39 am