I just came back from moving the car. After Rudi came home from a late-evening drive to the grocery store and garden, he parked it on one of the two streets we live at the corner of. It’s the one that has designated weekday rush hour no parking zones, and while they may be lifted during the current emergency, we aren’t so positive there won’t be enforcement that we’re willing to risk the ticket.

We forgot to take the keys with us when we went out to the park after work ended for me tonight and Rudi told me not to worry about it when I went to grab him the key when we came home.

Obviously he meant I shouldn’t worry about it because I could just move it later before I came to bed. (Actually, I’m glad I suddenly remembered it. We have only forgotten to move our car … twice maybe? … in the seventeen years we’ve lived here. But it’s not a lesson you really need to learn more than once a decade.)

Anyway, I wore a mask out to move the car because our stairs up to the sidewalk parallel the sidewalk, so you just never know what’s going to be waiting for you in the city, even after midnight. But once I was in the car, I took it off, and I didn’t have to put it back on for the block and a half it took to walk home from where I parked the car legally.

That’s the furthest I’ve walked outside without a mask since April.

Who could have imagined the world we live in right now?

Three days down, one to go with this particular work event. By six tomorrow evening, I should be free to enjoy the weekend.

As with many of the things I do with this job, the work is new and challenging — and requires a lot of me. I learn a lot and I help those in real need (more directly than I might otherwise have expected) and I get to work with some pretty spectacular people, both from my organization and from the larger community. I’d like to think that I’m getting to be better at what I do each day.

But there is definitely a psychic toll to a job where one is always learning and always helping and where the need stretches on indefinitely before you. And that is maybe where I struggle most with this position, particularly now.

In a pre-COVID world, I would have taken trips to the beach and would have spent Friday evenings watching outdoor movies or at concerts under the stars with friends. I would have played volleyball a couple times a week and gone swimming on the weekend and biked to cafes to read while leisurely sipping lemonade. I would have gone to see my parents every couple of months and had rejuvenating lunches with my best friend. I would have taken time away from work to recharge.

And with none of those things really being an option anymore, I’m just not doing that. Even now, as I’m writing this on a Saturday night, I’m thinking about how I need to put together a document for tomorrow morning and wondering if I should open my work laptop to just get it done.

As my boss keeps telling me (from beneath her own, even taller mountain of work), I need to find some time to take off to avoid burning out. But how do I do that and what do I do when I’m not supposed to travel (even though so many other people seem to be disregarding that)? Work will continue to be only a few feet away no matter what.

Please don’t think that I’m really complaining (although I’m definitely whining). I know how lucky I am. So many people are facing real hardship, and my challenges finding balance are insignificant compared to those facing health issues and economic insecurity and having to make life-and-death choices about sending their kids to school and reporting for work and being safe in a myriad of other ways.

So as the world’s tiniest violin plays, I will go and wash the dishes and then get some sleep. Because whether I recharge enough or not, the work awaits again in the morning.

My office is holding a meeting this weekend, so I worked tonight and will work tomorrow and Sunday afternoons, as well.

I’m hoping to squeeze in a little time outside before each workday begins (including a trip to the farmers market on Sunday) and am planning on slamming my laptop closed and running back out as soon as we hit the “leave” button on Zoom each evening. Keep your fingers crossed that the weather gods cooperate with that plan.

Have a great weekend! I expect you all to fill it with loafing and outdoor time and sleeping in on my behalf.

Three beautiful things from my past week:

1. A friend calls to catch up.

2. Rudi and I don’t feel comfortable eating out at restaurants yet, but when we pick up pizza at our favorite restaurant, we eat our first slice or two in the car so we still get to enjoy that fresh out of the oven experience that’s so crucial to perfect pizza.

3. The annual summer sidewalk sale that usually takes place in the next neighborhood over went online and citywide this year, which meant that both our local fish & chip shop and the high-end grocery in our neighborhood were taking part. The former had a discount on gift cards, and the latter had a deal that if you bought a gift card, they threw in their weekly food bag for free. The “provisions” bag contained enough food for at least four meals of salads and the instructions on how to put them together in creative ways.

How about you? What’s been beautiful in your world lately?

I’m half a repeat from being done with the pattern on the foot. I’d hoped to finish it tonight (and yesterday and this past weekend), but such is the way things goes these days.

Oona is still jumping from year to year. Her most recent jump is to the year before the one she just lived. I don’t know if I jumped to 2019 how I’d handle it knowing that no matter what I did the events of the following year had already been written. If I knew I’d spend so much of this year stuck in my apartment (and, yes, I’m wholly lucky to have shelter and to be allowed to work from it, when I know so many people don’t have either option), would I try to combat that with outdoor picnics and time with friends and visits to my family?

Head over to As Kat Knits to see what others are working their way through

All, Rudi and I have picked up some real duds of movies from the library recently — we watched The Goldfinch a couple weeks ago and The Good Liar tonight. (To be honest, The Good Liar was sufficiently violent that I just slept through nearly the entire thing, but Rudi was disappointed enough he didn’t bother watching the bonus features on the dvd.) On the one hand, I’m really glad that I didn’t waste money watching them at the theater (remember back when that was a thing?), but on the other, I gave up perfectly good hours of my night on substandard entertainment.

What movies have you watched lately that you do recommend? They can be from any era.