I finished a book this morning. It was a cute, holiday-themed romance that was perfectly adequate — too many characters left underdeveloped, but generally a feeling of coziness and caring even among the ones who should have been edited out.

But its ending annoyed me, because there was a proposal, and it involved all the secondary characters knowing before the main character, as well as the casual comment about the love interest having asked the father for his permission or blessing or whatever.

I recognize that both those things happen in real life. Proposals, like so many other events, have become an opportunity for grandiose public gestures. There is intense pressure on the person being queried for an affirmative response, and unless that person has already confided that a) they’d like to marry you and b) they’ve always hoped to be proposed to in front of a million strangers, I’d suggest you keep your important questions to a more intimate setting.

But the part that more sets my teeth on edge is the asking of parents (particularly fathers) for permission to marry their daughter. It smacks of old-fashioned patriarchy and transactional relationships (“I will marry your daughter, as long as you include three cows and a hectare of land”), and I find it a wholly offensive gesture, rather than a romantic one. If you’ve already spent any significant amount of time with your love’s family, you know whether they like you or not. And, at the heart of it, it’s really not about them. It’s about the person you actually want to spend the rest of your life with, and their opinion should matter most of all. For the record, I told Rudi early on in our relationship that should he ever feel the need to propose, if he asked anyone else about it before me, my answer would automatically be no.

I recognize that not everyone feels this way, including some of my close friends. And in the end, marriage — and how you get there — is one of personal preference. So, you do you. But every novelist that includes that scene as something they feel is to be admired is getting knocked down a star in my rating book.

First, a confession: My #tbtbsanta box arrived a month ago. I held off on opening it, first as a reward and later as a talisman, warding off bad seasonal events.

It should be noted that I looked at the box every day. I considered opening it. And so I left it unopened — and my poor Santa probably wondering what in the world was the matter with me.

But today, today I woke up and it was sunny. I realized I’d made it through both Thanksgiving and Christmas without breaking and I felt a little more like myself than I have since early October. And I knew it was time to open my box.

My Santa, Jordan, didn’t know when she sent me the box that I was going to hold onto it like a life raft. But the box was filled with good, buoyant things that make me even gladder now that I’ve opened it.

Already, we’re off to a great start: I drink a ton of cocoa, so am super excited to have new varieties to try. I didn’t have a new ornament for this year, because I hadn’t gone anywhere to get one. And the card made me guffaw!

I love purple. I love sparkles. I love nail polish. Put them all together and we have a winner!

Okay, on to the packages! (For the record, I also have Peanuts Christmas wrapping paper….)

First up, there is a fun tiny planter shaped like a Jane Austen bust so I can bring my gardening inside for the season.

Second, there are two books I’ve been wanting to read, Ta-Nehisi Coates’ well-received The Water Dancer and Ten Blind Dates by Ashley Elston, a Christmas-themed romance.

Finally, there was a gift for Corey — a catnip-filled croissant:

Thank you, Jordan, from both Corey and me. We absolutely love our gifts!

A new season is coming up on us quickly, and planning the reads to accompany it (particularly one set to be as emotionally and physically dark as the coming one), is a joy. (I wrote “job” there first, which maybe gives you a sense of how tired my brain is.)

This week’s Top Ten Tuesday from That Artsy Reader Girl asks a favorite question: What are ten books you’re planning to read this winter?

1. A Cuban Girl’s Guide to Tea and Tomorrow by Laura Taylor Namey (How can you not love this title? It’s waiting for me at the library.)
2. One of the Good Ones by Maika Moulite (Romance and I are getting along well this year.)
3. Recipe for Persuasion by Sonali Dev (I’ve been wanting to read the second book her Austen re-tellings since it came out back in the spring.)
4. The Meet-Cute Project by Rhiannon Richardson (More romance.)
5. The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue by V.E. Schwab (People seem to be loving this historical fiction sci fi story)
6. The Constant Rabbit by Jasper Fforde (Karen suggested Fforde’s world was a little too close to our current dysopia, so I put off starting it.)
7. Ayesha at Last by Uzma Jalaluddin (A Pride & Prejudice retelling.)
8. Aurora Burning by Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff (I’ve been on the holds list for the second in this space trilogy since the library added it.)
9. The Happy Ever After Playlist by Abby Jiminez (On the audiobook holds list after Dad recommended it this summer.)
10. One Life by Megan Rapinhoe (Megan and Sue Bird are my celebrity couple crush.)

How about you? What’s on your winter TBR pile? And while you’re waiting to start your winter reading, why don’t you stop by our Virtual Advent Tour and share in our holiday joy?

Today’s Top Ten Tuesday topic from That Artsy Reader Girl is a seasonal freebie, so I’ve decided to plumb my Goodreads to-read list and give you ten holiday titles that appear on my list. (In case you were wondering, I have more than 60 books that fall into that category I’ve yet to read.)

1. Mr. Dickens and His Carol by Samantha Silva
2. Murder for Christmas by Francis Duncan
3. Don’t Call Me Christina Kringle by Chris Grabenstein
4. The Santa Claus Man: The Rise and Fall of a Jazz Age Con Man and the Invention of Christmas in New York by Alex Palmer
5. The Great Christmas Knit Off by Alexandra Brown
6. On Strike for Christmas by Sheila Roberts
7. A Killer’s Christmas in Wales by Elizabeth J. Duncan
8. Sing We Now of Christmas, compiled by Michael Young
9. A Stubborn Sweetness and Other Stories for the Christmas Season by Katherine Paterson
10. An Idiot Girl’s Christmas: True Tales from the Top of the Naughty List by Laurie Notaro

How about you? Are there seasonal titles you’re hoping to read?

If you’re stopping by from the Top Ten Tuesday list, please make sure you check out our Virtual Advent Tour!

I’m so unraveled these days that I don’t actually have any progress to show you, on either this book, nor this project. But, rest assured, they will be a cozy Christmas mystery solved and a pair of self-striping socks sometime soon! (For those curious about yarns, it’s West Yorkshire Spinners’ Signature 4 play in Holly Berry, which contains 35% Blue-Faced Leicester wool. I bought it this summer as part of a Christmas in July sale at Simply Socks Yarn Company. And to make some of you horrified and some of you feel like we could be friends IRL, the plastic bag containing the yarn has been sitting on my coffee table this entire time.)

Head over to As Kat Knits, where I’m certain everyone is more together than I am.

Today’s Top Ten Tuesday topic from That Artsy Reader Girl asks us to share ten books we want to reread. I love rereading books (why own them, otherwise?), so this is a lovely and easy topic:

1. The Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling — every few years.
2. The Thursday Next series by Jasper Fforde — ditto. Both Rowling and Fforde are very imaginative and I appreciate their world-building and their snark.
3. The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows — I’m a sucker for rereading letters.
4. The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern — I admit I’ve never reread this one, in part because the first reading was so perfect I fear repeat viewings will suffer in comparison.
5. Landline by Rainbow Rowell — I haven’t read this one since it first came out, but maybe it’s time again this month.
6. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott — I don’t reread these one constantly the way I did growing up, but I enjoy dipping back in again from time to time.
7. Anne of Green Gables by L.M. Montgomery — I mean, sure, I maybe appreciate Marilla’s POV a little more than I did when I first read this book, but it still inspires raptures when Anne first comes through the White Way of Delight with Matthew.
8. The Girl Who Drank the Moon by Kelly Barnhill — I enjoyed this so much I bought myself a copy for purposes of rereading.
9. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen — I like her other books, but I love Elizabeth.
10. The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas — I just wish it would stop being so relevant.

How about you? Are there books you want to reread?

Don’t forget to stop by the Virtual Advent Tour if you haven’t yet!