The weekend started in Salt Lake, with Mexican food for supper on Friday and a trip up Emigration Canyon to a diner I’ve wanted to try for Saturday brunch (I had part of the leftovers on the plane and the other part for dessert tonight). We stopped at King’s English bookstore, where I picked up an emergency book for the plane ride home (I ended up not needing it, but only because I had it), and then I headed back east to Corey.

This morning there was a trip to the farmers market, and, later, to Virginia to return library materials and shop their Friends’ used book sale, where I picked up a bagful of books. On the way home, I stopped at the garden, the grocery store, and the drug store and chatted with my folks. Our cat sitter stopped by to return our keys and I spent the rest of the night curled up on the couch.

How was your weekend?

Okay, so apparently travel days aren’t great for my posting things when I think I am. Or maybe weekends. But especially weekend travel days.

Anyway, here’s what I was thinking I’d get to today when it was still yesterday (sort of):

• Go to the farmers market
• Return library books to Virginia (and check out the used book sale)
• Visit my garden
• Arrange to pay our cat sitter
• Do a load of laundry
• Procure (and prep if I’m feeling super ambitious) easy lunch foods for this week
• Cuddle the cat
• Sign up for #TBTBSanta before it’s too late
• Buy Jenny’s Christmas present while it’s on sale
• Knit at least three rows

Happy return-to-reality to me!

My MIL keeps asking us what fun things we’re going to do while I’m out in SLC. It’s not clear to either of us that she remembers that we’re here to empty out her house, and neither of us knows the way to remind her without breaking her heart.

Which instead breaks ours.

Honestly, my decision-making abilities have been down the toilet for a while. Sometimes I know I’m making a questionable decision, but the thought of having to prolong it outweighs the smarter voice. And sometimes I’m so caught in the mental vortex of trying to do too much with too few reserves that I’m literally going in circles from one task to another, without ever actually getting any of it done. I understand that sitting down and tackling one thing at a time is the smarter decision, but I don’t have the ability anymore to distinguish which thing needs focus until we’re in a danger zone.

I keep putting one foot in front of another, which counts for something, but honestly it counts for less and less every day. Can I call out exhausted for the rest of the year?

I need to refill my emotional and mental coffers, but the trip to Salt Lake doesn’t really seem likely to offer that. And I’m starting to wonder if this is just going to be life from now on, with nothing ever being great again. (To be fair, nothing is horrific either. Everyone is healthy and safe and I realize how lucky I am that I’m starting from that baseline.). I know everyone is struggling and my situation is neither unique nor interesting, but without getting some prolonged space and energy to recharge, I just don’t see how to keep the daily grind from grinding me up, too.

Rudi heads to Salt Lake tomorrow afternoon, and I’ll join him Friday night. His mom suddenly moved into assisted living earlier this year, and he’s been working on getting her house emptied out so it can be sold. We’re hoping the next few weeks are the final push in this process, and I’ll go put in my work detail for a week. But before I do, I have a few things I need to wrap up here:

• Get through three more days of work (and the attendant to-do list there)
• Put the herbs Mum sent me home with into the ground and harvest anything ripe
• Get a flu shot
• Win a volleyball championship
• Get stuff back to the library
• Clean the apartment (didn’t happen before CT; looking less and less likely to happen before SLC)
• Make sure we have enough supplies for our cat sitter
• Do laundry
• Pack
• Get myself to the airport with enough time to catch my plane (should be super obvious, but it’s not)

I guess I’ve got my marching orders for the next few days…

Again, I need to hit publish before ai turn off my phone…

It’s been a relaxing day. It’s not what I’d hoped for (may we soon retire the concept of “out of an abundance of caution”), but it was quiet and allowed me to take a pre-supper nap, spend time with my folks, knit, and stuff myself with pizza.

Tomorrow we’re goong to hunt down cider doughnuts. I can’t wait.