Honestly, my decision-making abilities have been down the toilet for a while. Sometimes I know I’m making a questionable decision, but the thought of having to prolong it outweighs the smarter voice. And sometimes I’m so caught in the mental vortex of trying to do too much with too few reserves that I’m literally going in circles from one task to another, without ever actually getting any of it done. I understand that sitting down and tackling one thing at a time is the smarter decision, but I don’t have the ability anymore to distinguish which thing needs focus until we’re in a danger zone.

I keep putting one foot in front of another, which counts for something, but honestly it counts for less and less every day. Can I call out exhausted for the rest of the year?

I need to refill my emotional and mental coffers, but the trip to Salt Lake doesn’t really seem likely to offer that. And I’m starting to wonder if this is just going to be life from now on, with nothing ever being great again. (To be fair, nothing is horrific either. Everyone is healthy and safe and I realize how lucky I am that I’m starting from that baseline.). I know everyone is struggling and my situation is neither unique nor interesting, but without getting some prolonged space and energy to recharge, I just don’t see how to keep the daily grind from grinding me up, too.

Rudi heads to Salt Lake tomorrow afternoon, and I’ll join him Friday night. His mom suddenly moved into assisted living earlier this year, and he’s been working on getting her house emptied out so it can be sold. We’re hoping the next few weeks are the final push in this process, and I’ll go put in my work detail for a week. But before I do, I have a few things I need to wrap up here:

• Get through three more days of work (and the attendant to-do list there)
• Put the herbs Mum sent me home with into the ground and harvest anything ripe
• Get a flu shot
• Win a volleyball championship
• Get stuff back to the library
• Clean the apartment (didn’t happen before CT; looking less and less likely to happen before SLC)
• Make sure we have enough supplies for our cat sitter
• Do laundry
• Pack
• Get myself to the airport with enough time to catch my plane (should be super obvious, but it’s not)

I guess I’ve got my marching orders for the next few days…

Again, I need to hit publish before ai turn off my phone…

It’s been a relaxing day. It’s not what I’d hoped for (may we soon retire the concept of “out of an abundance of caution”), but it was quiet and allowed me to take a pre-supper nap, spend time with my folks, knit, and stuff myself with pizza.

Tomorrow we’re goong to hunt down cider doughnuts. I can’t wait.

Rudi said, what happened to that post you typed in bed last night? Apparently I onlt hit publish in my mind…

We kicked off a long weekend by driving up to Connecticut to celebrate my dad’s birthday, our first in-person family birthday in 20 months.

Tomorrow, I’m goong to sleep in, but I also told my mom that we might need to find some cider doughnuts.

Sunday, Rudi is going for a bike ride, so it will just be my folks and me.

The weekend was good, but way too fast. I’m really looking forward to next weekend, which will be twice as long.

There were festivals and the farmers market and time with friends. I spent time at the garden, on the waterfront, and in bed.

We got to witness the penultimate game of one of our favorite Nationals and eat the last corn on the cob of the season.

How was your weekend?

Rudi and I were a block from home on our bikes this afternoon, when we encountered a car abandoned in the middle of the busy intersection.

It was on fire.

People at the crosswalks all had their phones out and were filming this interesting new addition to their day. Cars were still boldly driving right past, which felt like a stupid choice. Some of them also had phoneccvbc recordingcc.

911 had been called.

But at that point it was still a manageable fire. And no one was doing anything about it but watching.

So I threw down the kickstand on my bike and left it with Rudi while I hurried over to a local restaurant to demand a fire extinguisher. Another middle-aged woman came in right on my heels with the same request.

Kudos to the restaurant worker who immediately knew where their front-of-house fire extinguisher was and handed it to us without missing a beat. Neither of us had used one before, but we were game to try.

But when we came out, it was clear those extra 30 seconds had been too long. The car was engulfed. There was really no way for us to do anything at that point.

The fire trucks showed up a minute later, and I assume they quickly got the situation under control, because I didn’t hear an explosion after we got back on our bikes and pedaled away.