{"id":2454,"date":"2010-04-17T00:34:43","date_gmt":"2010-04-17T05:34:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.spritewrites.net\/?p=2454"},"modified":"2010-04-17T00:36:58","modified_gmt":"2010-04-17T05:36:58","slug":"sometimes-living-in-a-city-stinks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.spritewrites.net\/?p=2454","title":{"rendered":"sometimes living in a city stinks&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Because while back in Middletown sometimes my ripe tomatoes would walk, never did the whole plant disappear&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>From the sign currently attached to our railing upstairs, behind which once sat a lovely rosemary plant:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Dear Plant Thief,<\/p>\n<p>There are only three scenarios we can envision when taking someone else\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s plant are acceptable:<\/p>\n<p>1.\tYou have Alzheimer\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s or some other degenerative brain function disease and honestly believed that you lived here and this plant was yours. If this was the case, you have bigger problems and are forgiven.<\/p>\n<p>2.\tYou are homeless and are trying to chew herbal sprigs to keep your boss or teacher from finding out from your rotten breath. If this was the case, bring back our plant &#038; we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll leave you a toothbrush instead.<\/p>\n<p>3.\tYou weren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t paying attention and your dog peed on our plant. Thinking that it wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t hygienic to let us eat the plant anymore, you took our plant hoping to replace it with an identical one from the garden shop this evening. If this was the case, we expect to see a rosemary plant here this evening.<\/p>\n<p><strong>If<\/strong> you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t fall into any of these categories and <strong>you took our rosemary plant, then you are just a <strong><font color=red size=+3>mean person<\/font><\/strong> and <strong><font color=red size=+3>your parents didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t raise you right<\/font><\/strong>.<br \/>\n<\/strong><br \/>\n<center><strong><font size=+4>Bring back our rosemary plant!<\/font><\/strong><\/center><\/p>\n<p>Outraged,<\/p>\n<p>Your Neighbors\n<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>This would refer to the only plant that survived the great plant-napping of last August:<\/p>\n<p><center><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/lh3.ggpht.com\/_IQzqiu5vdeU\/SqWvmke7pOI\/AAAAAAAACAQ\/p0HohyusPIg\/s640\/IMG_0285.JPG\" alt=\"pissed off sign\" width=\"50%\" height=\"50%\" \/><\/center><\/p>\n<p>Can&#8217;t you just feel my outrage in this picture of the sign I made back then? (Kudos to <a href=\"http:\/\/quesarah.net\">Sarah<\/a>, who I <em>knew<\/em> snapped the shot, even if it took me a while to track it down.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Because while back in Middletown sometimes my ripe tomatoes would walk, never did the whole plant disappear&#8230; From the sign currently attached to our railing upstairs, behind which once sat a lovely rosemary plant: Dear Plant Thief, There are only three scenarios we can envision when taking someone else\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s plant are acceptable: 1. You have [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6,7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2454","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-dc-life","category-garden"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>sometimes living in a city stinks... - sprite writes<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.spritewrites.net\/?p=2454\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"sometimes living in a city stinks... - sprite writes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Because while back in Middletown sometimes my ripe tomatoes would walk, never did the whole plant disappear&#8230; From the sign currently attached to our railing upstairs, behind which once sat a lovely rosemary plant: Dear Plant Thief, There are only three scenarios we can envision when taking someone else\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s plant are acceptable: 1. You have [&hellip;]\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.spritewrites.net\/?p=2454\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"sprite writes\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2010-04-17T05:34:43+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2010-04-17T05:36:58+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/lh3.ggpht.com\/_IQzqiu5vdeU\/SqWvmke7pOI\/AAAAAAAACAQ\/p0HohyusPIg\/s640\/IMG_0285.JPG\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"soe\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"soe\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"1 minute\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.spritewrites.net\\\/?p=2454#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.spritewrites.net\\\/?p=2454\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"soe\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.spritewrites.net\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/2aa28906a6cfcf6a027e45ac700a834d\"},\"headline\":\"sometimes living in a city stinks&#8230;\",\"datePublished\":\"2010-04-17T05:34:43+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2010-04-17T05:36:58+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.spritewrites.net\\\/?p=2454\"},\"wordCount\":282,\"commentCount\":0,\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.spritewrites.net\\\/?p=2454#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/lh3.ggpht.com\\\/_IQzqiu5vdeU\\\/SqWvmke7pOI\\\/AAAAAAAACAQ\\\/p0HohyusPIg\\\/s640\\\/IMG_0285.JPG\",\"articleSection\":[\"dc life\",\"garden\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.spritewrites.net\\\/?p=2454#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.spritewrites.net\\\/?p=2454\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.spritewrites.net\\\/?p=2454\",\"name\":\"sometimes living in a city stinks... - 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